For most of my life I have believed I am less than others in some way. For instance, I was smart, but not smart enough. I was hard-working, but not hard-working enough. I was fun, but not fun enough. These kinds of beliefs about myself have made me constantly strive to be better. It’s a lot of work. At times, it’s even downright exhausting.
Here is the interesting thing about what I now call opposite ends of the same pole of a hellish existence—even though I have spent my life believing I am inadequate and simultaneously spent my life battling that by working hard to be better, sometimes to the point where I was physically unwell, I still never felt good enough. If we pay attention to how our life is actually happening, instead of running on autopilot in a zombie-like existence, we will notice this game of empty promises. And we have to ask ourselves, upon noticing, why are we doing this?