Codependent relationships are out-of-balance, unhealthy relationships where we consistently sacrifice our own needs and happiness for our partner’s. What’s really happening, though, is that we are looking for approval from someone else, hoping they will do for us what we can’t do for ourselves, which is to improve our self-worth and love us—which they never do. And to get this, we will support another in just about anything—addictions, including drugs and alcohol, abusive behavior, immaturity, inattention, or lack of motivation. This kind of relationship is one-sided and often makes us feel trapped. But the real codependent relationship isn’t with someone else as much as it is with our own mind. In this article, I want to suggest another way to look at codependency—not on the outside with others, but on the inside with our mind.

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